Dire Mistakes
by deathstar33
Summary: Doctor Aphra has made some dire mistakes before...and this one has the potential to be one of the worst. After all, you should never anger Darth Vader. Based on the comics by Kieron Gillen and Simon Spurrier.


Aphra's right hand tore across the controls of the _Ark Angel_ as she frantically tried to avoid collision with the massive asteroids that loomed on either side of her ship. Or was it Krrsantan's ship? She wasn't sure anymore, nor did she care. She was relieved when she was finally met with the glittering darkness of space instead of the giant rocks that had nearly killed her a dozen times in the past two minutes.

"Trip, I'm in the sector. I just need a teensy bit more time, that's all.

"Very well, Master Aphra."The droid stopped speaking to her and turned to Beetee-One saying, "Oh I do quite despise that title!" and returned his attention to Aphra. "But I'd advise you to hurry; Lord Vader will be arriving shortly."

She slumped back in her seat and groaned.

"Don't remind me," she muttered, tapping a few keys pathetically with her index finger.

"And on a completely unrelated but joyous note all the same, Beetee has detected a bantha stampede in the sector. Oh imagine the bloodshe-" Triple-Zero's voice was suddenly cut off by a storm of static that caused Aphra to yelp with both surprise and discomfort.

"You have entered Imperial Space. State your business or you will be brought aboard and searched."

Ah pooey, Aphra thought as she frantically tried to size up their enemy. Was she being followed by a Star Destroyer? Was she about to run head long into a Super Star Destroyer?! Was there suddenly another Death Star trailing behind her that was ready to blast her to bits at any given moment?! None of those options sounded too appealing. But it didn't matter. If they knew who she really was, they would all probably terminate her if they got the chance. It didn't matter how many TIE's you had on hand or how many stormtroopers you had at snap of your fingers or the amount of officers that you could boss around. One shot would be all it took. Thank god Lord Vader always kept her prepared.

"Transmitting codes now," Aphra announced as she entered in the last bit of information.

"Ah," he said at last. "Name: Ala Lenez. Occupation: Chief Cargo Monitor of the Galactic Empire's Claims to the Outer Rim. Business: Delivery to the Third Moon in the Devos system. Cargo: Classified." He paused, and Aphra guessed that he was scanning the access codes that she had transmitted to him. Then, at last, he said flatly, "Permission granted." As Aphra breathed in what felt like the first time in forever, she saw a pair of TIE's tear into the distance, away from Devos Major, where they rendezvoused with a Star Destroyer that hugged Terik, a planet that was less than a light year away from Devos Nine, the last moon in the Devos system.

"Oh my god," Aphra whispered to herself. "I'm gonna live."

"I wouldn't be quite so sure of that." Aphra groaned as her ears were once again tortured by Triple-Zero's dull but somehow frightening voice.

"Lord Vader would be quite… upset if he found out that you raided yet another old ship instead of bringing his plans straight to him, just like you did the last time."

"And you would be happy to know that the Wookiees now have their old, souped-up, millennia old bowcaster back. And that they've lost all their credits," Aphra added with a goofy grin on her face.

Krrsantan howled and grunted a few words that Aphra didn't necessarily want to here again.

"Don't worry, old rug. The Wookiees voluntarily gave me the creds. It was a fair trade as far as I was concerned."

Krrsantan let out a wary growl and apologized for some of the things that he had said.

"Fair enough, bud," Aphra said to the bounty hunter. Triple-Zero continued on his own rant.

"You know, I was in for quite a scare the last time Lord Vader tried to kill you. You know that I dream of the day when-"

"Your life is so hard, Trip," Aphra announced as she maneuvered the _Ark Angel_ past Devos 2. Devos 3 entered her sights, and she noticed that unlike Devos Major, Devos 1, or Devos 2, Devos 3 lacked the distinct blue and green coloring that indicated a jungle terrain. Devos 3 was seemingly scraped of all life with a giant machete and now all that was left was a barren rock surface, occasionally complemented with a lake or two. No wonder Boss wanted to meet up here, Aphra mused as the _Ark Angel_ tore through the atmosphere of Devos 3. This planet is as dead as a doornail.

"Send me your guy's coordinates." Aphra demanded as the _Ark Angel_ neared Devos 3's atmosphere.

"Of course I will, since we must keep you on a very short leash, Master, but it appears that we have one teensy little problem," responded Triple-Zero. He mocked her voice to the best of his ability when he said "teensy little problem," but Aphra was too busy trying to figure out what the teensy little problem was to care.

"What did you do this time, Trip?" Aphra asked apprehensively as she pulled up the coordinates and began to pilot the _Ark Angel_ towards her comrades' location.

"Well," the droid began, "You took far too long coming here, so Beetee and I became quite bored. You know, Dear Master, as in the kind of bored that means we must get a little payback for your poor timing, the kind of revenge that means taking something very dear away from you."

"You didn't!" Aphra cut in, searching the horizon for a sight that she wished she wouldn't see but knew she would. In the far corner of the landscape, she spotted it; The Luxury Citadel of the Old Pirate Civilization, the one that she had dreamed of finding for years. It was wood and rose higher into the air than anything else on the landscape, seemingly scraping the clouds. It was beautiful! It was a historic find! And there it was, and it had erupted into flames.

"No," Aphra breathed. Standing in front of the inferno was an astromech droid, a protocol droid, and a Wookiee, her three crewmates. As she neared the scene, she could see the grey droids' red photoreceptors discoloring the grey sand that layered the rock ground on which they stood. The sight of red on sand reminded Aphra of blood, and blood reminded Aphra all too much of Triple-Zero, and even though Triple-Zero was only a few klicks away, the thought of him made her angrier than the sight of him, since just from the looks of him, he appeared only to be a harmless protocol droid. A harmless protocol droid that possesses more weapons than the entire Rebel Fleet, Aphra reminded herself. But thinking of him made her remember everything horrible that he had done, and remembering that was far worse than looking at a protocol droid, no matter how deadly it appeared.

"No! No! No!" Aphra yelled as she slammed her fist into the control panel.

"Yes! Yes! Yes, Dear Master." Triple-Zero did his best impression of a sneer.

"No," Aphra repeated in a quieter voice. "The sacred texts… the artifacts…"

"And we're not even to the best part of this whole catastrophe yet!" Triple-Zero announced happily. "This is all _your_ fault, Doctor Aphra! Lord Vader cares for no such things as old pirate citadels; he'll only care that you didn't rendezvous in time! The rebels may already be following you! It was quite foolish of you to venture into rebel space. Oh, if only you weren't off raiding old temples and ships all the time."

He paused, as if to give more drama to the situation then there already was, then suddenly exclaimed,

"Oh, what fun! You have made some dire mistakes before, Doctor, but this according to my probability readings, stacks up as one of the absolute worst! Oh, how exciting this will be to watch, Beetee. Don't you agree?!"

Beetee let out an enthusiastic _bleep!_ that send a shiver down Aphra's spine. "Beetee agrees," Triple-Zero cried, as if this were some huge shock.

At this point, Aphra had her head in her hands while the _Ark Angel_ floated through the sky, across from the precious citadel, set ablaze by her homicidal droids, while that big rug of a bounty hunter, Black Krrsantan, just sat and watched.

"If Lord Vader doesn't destroy Master Aphra the first second he gets, I believe that we will get to enjoy some major torture time!" Triple-Zero continued before readdressing Aphra.

"You might want to come down before Lord Vader gets here. It would be a shame if he were just to blow your ship right out of the sky. But that does sound quite unlike him. You of all people would know that."

Aphra sucked in her breath and began to grudgingly bring the ship down to the planet's surface. Triple-Zero was right. She either came down on her own terms, or Vader brought her down in whichever way he pleased. She disembarked and was greeted by not only the haunting smell of smoke, but also by the beady red eyes of Triple-Zero and Beetee One, who had turned away from the burning citadel and were now staring seemingly into her soul. Although droids weren't very good at displaying excitement in general, Beetee and Triple-Zero were both somehow succeeding, and that made Aphra even more on edge than before. Krrsantan growled something. Maybe it a reprimand, or maybe a kind comment; Aphra wasn't sure which. Shyriiwook could get awfully confusing sometimes.

With nothing more to do, Aphra stood by Black Krrsantan, which was as far away from Triple-Zero and Beetee-One as possible, and waited for the inevitable to happen. Seconds ticked by, but they seemed like hours. Aphra shuffled her feet, trying to release at least a little nervous energy. All it did was raise a cloud of dust that she choked on. None of her companions moved. They all wanted to see what would happen next. They didn't want to disturb anything.

And then, it happened. The clouds of the smoke-filled grey sky were seemingly parted by a sleek TIE Advanced x1. Vader's TIE Advanced x1. Aphra gulped. The TIE lowered itself to the surface of the planet, emitting a soft _hiss! _as it did so. The hatch opened, a ladder fell from one side of the fighter, and Vader emerged from the craft, seemingly calm, and Aphra knew better than anyone that calm meant danger. As the dark lord approached Aphra and her crew, Aphra froze, hands shaking, her breath coming in tiny spurts. Triple-Zero exclaimed happily to Beetee, "Let the festivities begin. Oh this is absolutely, truly, wonderfully marvelous!" And maybe Aphra would've laughed, or smirked, or shot a nasty glare at Triple-Zero, had it not been for the looming black shadow that toward over her, shading all the sand and rock that surrounded her and her crew, turning everything a melancholy shade of black, and for the first time in truly a long while, Aphra felt completely and utterly trapped.


End file.
